Re: The Arnorian Guide to Winter Survival

After more days than I would like to count of below zero temperatures in the -30 and -40 degrees Fahrenheit range, I put together the following survival guide for other cold climate librarians.

• Arise and face the morning darkness (days are still short) with equal amounts of grim fortitude and hot tea.
• Prepare to depart for work by putting on these garments: socks, wool winter boots with ice grippers, two pairs of pants, sweater or long-sleeved T-shirt, Arctic expedition-weight parka with fur ruff, knit hat, scarf, and gloves. Now attempt to squeeze Frosty-the-Snowman-sized self into small foreign car.
• Question own sanity as you drive through ice fog (a combination of fog and car exhaust) so thick that not only could you cut it with a knife, you could carve a commemorative statue out of it.
• Marvel at the logic of a university that won’t run the snow removal equipment at -30 below (too cold for the machines), but still insists that staff and faculty show up for work, requiring them to bump through lumpy parking lots, wade through shin-deep snow, park their cars ptarmigan-like in parking spaces that are essentially hollows in the drifts, and excavate the plug-ins by hand.
• Replay scenes from Jack London short story “To Build a Fire”  (hint: it doesn’t end well) in your mind as you court frostbite with finger gloves that don’t keep your hands warm, but allow you to handle vital objects like the plug-in cord and mittens that, while warmer, don’t allow you to manipulate objects like the steering wheel.
• Trudge into office and proceed to remove multiple layers of clothing before you overheat and die. When preparing to leave work for the day, reverse process (see #2 above), but stagger the dressing in stages so that you add the final layers in the library entry way where the chill air will keep you from overheating.
• Experience face being flash frozen as you head back out into the cold darkness.
• Contemplate the twisted sense of humor of the grounds crew who polish black ice to a high gloss, but fail to add a decent amount of sand, gravel, or snow for solid footing. Wonder at a university administration that stubbornly refuse to make the connection between inadequate traction and seasonal, fall-related injuries among staff, faculty, and students.  Raise a Spockian eyebrow at the Risk Management office that attempts to solve the traction problem on the university grounds by issuing a multi-point bulletin that essentially says “don’t fall down.”
• Trek up goat path over snow-covered stairs to find frozen hunk of plastic and metal that is your car.
• Allow car to run for good twenty minutes to warm up its vital fluids while simultaneously freezing your vital fluids in your veins.  Lurch back home through the ice fog on square tires. Repeat again and again and again as long as cold spell lasts.
• Wake up one morning to discover that it is -17 degrees below Fahrenheit outside. Rejoice in tropical heat wave!

Re: Occupy Fictional Places

Consider this post “Amusing Picture Friday: the Occupy Edition.”

Re: Out On the Open Road

Peter and Donna Thomas of Santa Cruz, California are living the dream–well, one of my dreams at any rate. These two book artists had a gypsy wagon or vardo built and traveled around the Western United States in it during 2010-2011. Besides being a very cool RV, the wagon, named “Paloma”, also served as a rolling advertisement for their art books and workshops. Who were their hosts more often than not? Why, libraries and librarians, of course.

Here’s an interview with the artists themselves. Check out the accordion and ukulele books:

Now here’s what everybody wants–a closer look at “Paloma”.

You can read their blog here and you can see Peter speaking more at length about the book arts here.

Re: The Value of a College Education

As an academic librarian and a college graduate, I was intrigued by this Oct. 12, 2011 topic on Intelligence Squared: “Do Too Many Kids Go to College?” Check out the audio and the transcript of the debate here. The title is a bit misleading since all of the debate participants agree that some schooling after high school is absolutely necessary. At the heart of the debate, however,  is the question about what a post-high school education is supposed to do. Is the purpose of a college to create a well-rounded individual or to teach vocational skills? Can a two year vo-tech degree really prepare graduates for the 7-10 career changes they will experience during their working lives?

One of the things prompting the debate–and one of the things that the debaters don’t really address sufficiently–is the high cost of college/technical school. No student, in my opinion, should graduate in debt yet the rising cost of a post-high school education puts students in a financial dilemma. Either they put themselves in debt to complete their education now or they pay as they go which winds up costing more since it takes longer.  Not talked about are the factors pushing prices up and what we can do to keep costs down.

Re: Happy Halloween!

The Puppini Sisters, a British jazz trio, sing “Spooky”. I thought it was fitting tribute to the season.

Re: All Hallows Read 2011

What is All Hallows Read, you ask? Allow Neil Gaiman to explain it to you. Then go over to the All Hallows Read website to read more about it. I recommend checking out the Extras section as it has a link to a great Edgar Allen Poe mini-book that you can fold and give out to trick or treaters. There are also book recommendations by age group and a FAQ which gives more details including  a link to Neil’s original post.

Re: Halloween Jukebox

Halloween is coming up and I got the idea to put together a fun YouTube playlist that expressed the feeling of the holiday. Here are my picks:

This version of the “Monster Mash” done with Lego figures is both a nice rendition of this novelty hit and a tribute to Bobby “Boris” Pickett who did the song.

Take it from Ray Stevens: the dead can sit up by themselves.

You’ll probably need a stiff drink after that so take a swig of Love Potion No. 9. The manufacturer is not responsible for customers snogging police officers on 51st and Vine or the jail term that is likely to follow.

Speaking of jail terms, Johnny Cash sings the murder ballad “Delia’s Gone”. Johnny often picked songs that have a dark theme to them which is one of the reasons that I like his music.

Bringing us back to the lighter side, here’s Those Darn Accordions doing their rendition of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”. If you’ve needed any convincing that accordions are the devil’s instrument, this video will remove all doubt.

Re: Quotable Quotes

My colleague, Paul, and I geeking out at the reference desk. If you saw the Council of Elrond scene in the first “Lord of Rings” movie, this conversation makes perfect sense. If you didn’t, it’s a fan thing.

Me: So, you’ve been chosen to take the report to the Library Council.

Paul: One does not just walk into the Library Council.

Me: Not with 10,000 men could you do that.

Re: As Seen in the Stores of Hobbiton

Well, it had to happen: the two biggest shopping seasons of the fall and winter have finally been merged together by an intrepid retailer. In a local JoAnn’s this Labor Day weekend, I saw, I kid you not, an artificial evergreen decorated with witch’s boot and hat ornaments and being scaled by three humongous black tarantulas. Yes, Halloween and Christmas have become—Hallowmas. Hallowmas, that scariest season of all, when jolly old St. Jack O’Lantern rises from his pumpkin patch and flies over the world, bringing presents to all the bad children. Children who have been too good during the year are devoured by his eight gigantic spiders. Yes, it’s the “Nightmare Before Christmas” all over again, minus the feel good ending.

May God have mercy on our pocketbooks.

Re: Oh, the Humanities!

Librarians love lists of books and I’m no exception. In “Hell is Empty” by Craig Johnson, one of Walt’s deputies, Sancho, is making up for a college education spent concentrating on criminal justice by reading more widely in the humanities. His co-workers have helped him out by making him reading lists and he is in the middle of working his way through one of their recommendations, “Dante’s Inferno“, when the story opens. “Dante’s Inferno” also plays a major part in the story itself.

At the end of the book, Craig gives the complete reading lists from Walt and the rest of the main characters in the series. Each list is very reflective of the characters’ personalities and runs the gamut from “The Three Musketeers” (courtesy of Walt) to “Justine” (Vic, Walt’s sassy deputy) to “Pilgrim’s Progress” (Ruby the dispatcher) to “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee” (Henry Standing Bear, bar owner and former political activist).

Naturally, I can’t read a list like that without making a list of my own. My mission (and yours, should you choose to accept it) is to draw up a list of “must-reads” in the humanities. The temptation here is to reel off a list of great books. No dice. These have to be books that you have read, enjoyed, and consider classics or seminal in some way. The list is limited to ten. You can make it shorter, but you can’t make it longer.

Here’s my list:

1.) The Complete Works of William Shakespeare

Walt and I are both big fans of the Bard and probably for the same reason. Bill Shakespeare talks about the human condition and does so in a way that has rung true for over several hundred years.

2.) Beowulf (Seamus Heaney translation)

Every time I read this story-poem, I’m amazed by how modern and anti-heroic it is. In fact, I would recommend listening to this story via CD or audio download rather than reading it. It was a word-of-mouth tale and meant to be enjoyed that way.

3.) The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle

Holmes’ genius is listening–really listening–to the odd and sometimes bizarre stories of the people who come to him for help and then looking beyond those stories for explanations. He foils crimes by taking people seriously.

4.) The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

When asked to pick out one of Mark Twain’s works, everyone always suggests “Huckleberry Finn” which is a longer, more picaresque tale. I still stick to and stand by “Tom Sawyer” which is shorter, brighter, and more enjoyable.

5.) The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien

Okay, a slight cheat as these are three books rather than one, but you can’t really read one without reading the other two. Tolkien was an ex-soldier and his writing is informed by a sense of melancholy for the friends and the innocence he lost during his stint in World War I.  No matter how many times I’ve read this series, I still cry at the end of the third book.

6.) Treasure Island

As a kid, I loved this book for the adventure (treasure! pirates! derring-do!). As an adult, I love this book for its coming of age story. The story is as much about Jim’s path to manhood as it is about Long John’s quest for Flint’s gold.

7.) The Bible

You don’t have to be Christian or believe in God at all to appreciate that the Bible has been at the center of Western history and popular culture. Every time we talk about a tower of babel or turning the other cheek, we are referencing this book.

8.) The Crusades Through Arab Eyes by Amin Maalouf

In the 12th century, the mighty Abbasid Empire, the greatest superpower of its time, was in shambles. Divided by civil war, the empire was soon beseiged by a new enemy: the Franj (Franks). Maalouf, a journalist by trade, writes a highly enjoyable and informative popular history that draws on Arab primary sources to present the Crusades from a Middle Eastern viewpoint.  Maalouf has achieved something very difficult: writing a non-fiction history that reads like a novel.

9.) Good Poems edited by Garrison Keillor

As a radio host, Keillor is most concerned with poems that catch the ear when read out loud so this anthology of poetry is heavily weighted toward those that sound good, not just look good on the page. If you were put off of poetry when you were a kid, try this book.  Be sure to read the poet bios in the back, too. They are very memorable.

10.) Grimm’s Fairy Tales by Jakob and Wilhelm Grimm

This 19th century collection of German folktales is as central to Western European civilization as the Bible. Get the complete anthology for adults, not the watered version for kids.